This Doesn't Make Sense

Fuck the times when I thought everything's fine.
Fuck the people who crossed the line.
When thing's happened in a matter of seconds.
All that's been invested is worthless.
It doesn't even rhyme.


I can't even tell what's the matter with me anymore.
The longer I stay the longer it sore.
Am i worth the trust or what?
A question with infinite excuse.
It doesn't even rhyme.


I want to change, I badly want to.
But the more it happened the more I became untrue.
I wanna go someplace where I can find my reflection.
Somewhere alone simply because I have to.
It doesn't even rhyme.

There Is A Progress

She's right. I guess it is okay to be sad sometimes. People may find us weird if we always show our smiles even in the gloomiest situation. It is hard to imagine people like Charlyne Yi having emotional problem when she was young and now ended up as an actress/comedian. I guess it's not impossible to change, for the better of course. But today, social anxiety is what I am currently struggling. The feeling of self-discomfort. And just like Charlyne, everyday I challenge myself to overcome it. Good news is, there is a progress. Now I can say that I'm not alone anymore. (still single though, if that's what you're thinking). I started going out with my classmates, sharing different topics and all. So I say it did actually work. Though it's not actually like something to be proud of. Because I'm trying my best to fit in. That means, most of the time I am trying to be something I am not. But I think what's more important is, I am moving forward of becoming a fully mature human. These experiences are helping me gain my undeveloped mind.

Greatest lesson learned for now: Forget the rules, follow your heart.

P.S

Charlyne Yi by the way is one of the main character from the movie/documentary "PAPER HEART". Together with Micheal Cera. It was a great movie. And that's right, I added Charlyne on facebook and thank god it wasn't a fake account. :D

Without words by Park Shin Hye

I shouldnt have done that,
I should have pretended not to know
like I didnt see it, like I couldnt see it
I shouldnt have looked at you in the first place

I should have run away,
I should have pretended I wasnt listening
like I didnt hear it, like I couldnt hear it
I shouldnt have heard your love in the first place

Without a word you made me know love
Without a word you gave me love
Because you took just a breath and ran away like this
Without a word love leaves me
Without a word love abandons me
Wondering what to say next, my lips were surprised
Because it came without a word.

Why does it hurt so much?
Why does it hurt continuously?
Except for the fact that I can’t see you anymore
And that you’re not here anymore
Otherwise it’s the same as before

Without a word you made me know love
Without a word you gave me love
Because you took just a breath and ran away like this
Without a word love leaves me
Without a word love abandons me
Wondering what to say next, my lips were surprised

The original song is Korean. I love it.  But doesn't mean I can relate to it. though it does sound a little cheezy.  heee :D


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5nksyeGNk&feature=related

Guilty Concsience

After a month of finding myself....


Nothing much has change. Nothing much has gained, except my weight. I still don't know how to start off a good essay. Still no cellphone for me (fuck).


But other than that I realized, that I have to sacrifice for certain things. There are aspects in life the wont work unless, you work for it. I'm glad I made the right choice. Accepting ones fault isn't that atrocious. I am happy now. :)


I also found a new site called deviantart. Deviantart is a site for artists, photographers, animators etc. I am not any of them by the way. One day I was bored, so I decided to register. People in there are welcoming. I can see how much they love photography. I just feel so guilty about one thing. Some photos on my deviant account are not mine. And many of them thought it was actually mine. One them even featured my deviation. *guilty conscience*  ahww Im sorry to whoever own those photos. Nuff said. I don't want to get caught to any cyber police out there.


Good vibes, please bear with me even for just this year.