YEY! I'M BACK!!

My own version of MANIFESTO :

This is my 45th post.

This post is unique and awesome.

Random yet intriguing.

Really intriguing.

I said it because I mean it and no one will judge this post or I will kill you with my bare hands.

Kill.

Torture.

Bury.

All you gotta do is read.

Understand the value of information being formulated.

Understand the information.

Understand the value being formulated.

And by grasping every letter, every word and every punctuation, you will then realize that you have spent half of your life in a trance (of god knows what) compelled by this blog and you will thank me for that.

Star.


*PS I have no intention to be mean on this post. Random post is random. You too should try it. Make a manifesto post!!
Edited by Eunice Delfin. Thanks. :D

RANDOM

That feeling when you just want to punch someone so hard on the face, but realized you can't do it because somehow you feel like your going to end up like "the jerk". Truth is, I keep my disappointment to myself. And a lot of people (i mean few people) think that I'm a big hard-ass bi-polar. Getting mad for no reason? That is some serious mental problem. Yes, I know that it is much better to honestly say what I really feel, and then what? End up with a really bad day with both guilty and non-guilty conscience. Enmity isn't really what I wanted to felt like but somehow it left me with no choice but to keep my mouth silent. And the saddest part is that,I'm the only one who can buckle my own difficulty for reasons I cannot utter. I can't bear handling any consequences that may end up destroying myself and killing someone. 


How I deal with this?... I~

This Doesn't Make Sense

Fuck the times when I thought everything's fine.
Fuck the people who crossed the line.
When thing's happened in a matter of seconds.
All that's been invested is worthless.
It doesn't even rhyme.


I can't even tell what's the matter with me anymore.
The longer I stay the longer it sore.
Am i worth the trust or what?
A question with infinite excuse.
It doesn't even rhyme.


I want to change, I badly want to.
But the more it happened the more I became untrue.
I wanna go someplace where I can find my reflection.
Somewhere alone simply because I have to.
It doesn't even rhyme.

There Is A Progress

She's right. I guess it is okay to be sad sometimes. People may find us weird if we always show our smiles even in the gloomiest situation. It is hard to imagine people like Charlyne Yi having emotional problem when she was young and now ended up as an actress/comedian. I guess it's not impossible to change, for the better of course. But today, social anxiety is what I am currently struggling. The feeling of self-discomfort. And just like Charlyne, everyday I challenge myself to overcome it. Good news is, there is a progress. Now I can say that I'm not alone anymore. (still single though, if that's what you're thinking). I started going out with my classmates, sharing different topics and all. So I say it did actually work. Though it's not actually like something to be proud of. Because I'm trying my best to fit in. That means, most of the time I am trying to be something I am not. But I think what's more important is, I am moving forward of becoming a fully mature human. These experiences are helping me gain my undeveloped mind.

Greatest lesson learned for now: Forget the rules, follow your heart.

P.S

Charlyne Yi by the way is one of the main character from the movie/documentary "PAPER HEART". Together with Micheal Cera. It was a great movie. And that's right, I added Charlyne on facebook and thank god it wasn't a fake account. :D

Without words by Park Shin Hye

I shouldnt have done that,
I should have pretended not to know
like I didnt see it, like I couldnt see it
I shouldnt have looked at you in the first place

I should have run away,
I should have pretended I wasnt listening
like I didnt hear it, like I couldnt hear it
I shouldnt have heard your love in the first place

Without a word you made me know love
Without a word you gave me love
Because you took just a breath and ran away like this
Without a word love leaves me
Without a word love abandons me
Wondering what to say next, my lips were surprised
Because it came without a word.

Why does it hurt so much?
Why does it hurt continuously?
Except for the fact that I can’t see you anymore
And that you’re not here anymore
Otherwise it’s the same as before

Without a word you made me know love
Without a word you gave me love
Because you took just a breath and ran away like this
Without a word love leaves me
Without a word love abandons me
Wondering what to say next, my lips were surprised

The original song is Korean. I love it.  But doesn't mean I can relate to it. though it does sound a little cheezy.  heee :D


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB5nksyeGNk&feature=related

Guilty Concsience

After a month of finding myself....


Nothing much has change. Nothing much has gained, except my weight. I still don't know how to start off a good essay. Still no cellphone for me (fuck).


But other than that I realized, that I have to sacrifice for certain things. There are aspects in life the wont work unless, you work for it. I'm glad I made the right choice. Accepting ones fault isn't that atrocious. I am happy now. :)


I also found a new site called deviantart. Deviantart is a site for artists, photographers, animators etc. I am not any of them by the way. One day I was bored, so I decided to register. People in there are welcoming. I can see how much they love photography. I just feel so guilty about one thing. Some photos on my deviant account are not mine. And many of them thought it was actually mine. One them even featured my deviation. *guilty conscience*  ahww Im sorry to whoever own those photos. Nuff said. I don't want to get caught to any cyber police out there.


Good vibes, please bear with me even for just this year.

I TALKED TO THE MOON

There are certain times of my life where everything is great. Everything seems to be the way they're supposed to be. 

Everything, but not for me.

Sometimes, I think the world turn it's back on me. Like life is nothing more important than breathing. The world I knew that's full of humor is now gray and dull.

This is the time when I think about others. My little incentive, as they call it.

To think about people who don't even have the time to bother my kind of sadness because of hunger. People who have forgotten to smile just because they're too busy finding a decent home. There could be a lot of them out there who needs more than a smile. Children who lost their childhood just to keep living.

Thinking about them I realized, is my problem really that important? Am I gonna waste my time thinking about puny bastards in my head? 

No. It's time to grow up. I should be more concern to other people who needs me instead. But for now I still have to finish my responsibilities for my family. This incentive is really helpful that I came up with a thought you might find worth noting.

Follow your heart. Do what you think is right as long as you're not intentionally hurting anyone.

Take risk; it doesn't always gonna end up bad but rather surprising.

Don't think that problems are pests in your life; people might find you weird if you're always happy.

Take time helping other people; the world doesn't revolve around you, you know.

Dream every chance you get; luck never closes it's doors.

Be open to possibilities; a twist in your life could be exciting.

Learn to appreciate small things; it makes life more meaningful.

Be humble; not just because you're good at it, but because you don't want to disappoint people.

Be you; don't live behind the mask. 

And lastly.

Take time to be thankful to Him.

If life's a dish, He's the chef that cooks it to a perfect taste that suits us best. :)